Our Miracle: At a Crossroads-35 weeks

**Disclaimer: I'm stressed....you will find out why after you read this post. If you spot any typos, sorry-deal with it.**

I thought the stress was supposed to end once school got out. Obviously THAT was me being naive. I had a very stressful doctor's appointment today. I am kinda freaked out about it and don't know what to do.

Paul has been trying to finish the baby's room, so he decided to stay home and try to finish it up today while I went to my appointment. I will be 35 weeks on Saturday so I was just going for my biweekly check up, next week I start the the weekly appointments. I didn't think it was going to be a big deal. They have been telling me for about 6 weeks now that baby boy is bigger than average based on his ultrasound measurements, so they have been watching it closely. My last 3 appointments have been with Dr. Werbin-Silver (super love her) and Dr. Grecco (love him too). Last time I went (which was 2 weeks ago) Grecco told me to have another ultrasound just to check up on his size and weight, but I may not need it. When I saw Werbin-Silver today she informed me that I definitely needed one because "I can tell that's a pretty big baby in there." She didn't even need to say anything to freak me out because the nurse freaked me out enough before the doctor came in when she weighed me and didn't say how much I gained in 2 weeks. When I asked she said SIX POUNDS. And so the nervous breakdown started then.

So, Dr. Werbin Silver came in, they did my strep B test and then my internal. Apparently his head is way down, my cervix is low and closed but she was concerned about how big I had gotten. Time for the ultrasound. So I go out to wait for my ultrasound, she (Barb, the u/s tech who I love) calls me in and starts showing me all his parts and organs and everything. She's measuring all these things and every time she measures something, the computer calculates an "estimated due date" based on the size. And for EVERY SINGLE measurement, it came up between 85-97th percentile for size and the due date for each measured part varied between july 26 and august 6. I was flipping out watching those numbers flash on the screen while I was trying to concentrate more on how cute his little face (well BIG face, really) was (side note: it looks like he has really cute cubby cheeks).

When she was all done going through everything, the final screen comes up giving the weight and an estimated due date based on the weight....it was July 26 and his weight was in the high 7's (almost 8 pounds). I was flipping out. She even tried to take some of the larger measurements out of the calculations but it didn't make much of a difference-the ultrasound was saying he was almost an 8 pound baby at 35 weeks-the computer was actually saying I was 40+ weeks-can you imagine!?!?!

So at this point, I am in a complete daze...I am a small person, where is this HUGE baby coming from!?!? I'm all by myself, flipping out, texting Paul, my sister, other people freaking out....then I'm thinking, "holy crap, what if this baby comes the week my parents are away?!" Suddenly my nervous laugh starts to kick in, and I'm laughing in the lobby to myself like a psycho waiting to see what Werbin-Silver says based on the ultrasound. When she called me back into her office it was the first time she ever really seemed concerned about anything. She laid out my options (while I watched her drink her diet Coke-I was more focused on that-it looked good and I was freaking):

1. If I want to try for a vaginal birth, she recommends doing it between weeks 36-38 but I would need an amnio to make sure his lungs are fully developed, because I guess a vaginal birth can compromise their breathing.

2. We can try to go to 39 weeks to deliver without an amnio, may or may not need to be induced but then I might be trying to deliver an 11-12 pound baby. Can you freakin' imagine? That's like birthing a Thanksgiving turkey. My dog doesn't even weight that much.

3. Scheduled C section the week of August 8 or the week of August 15.

I go again next Thursday but they aren't doing an ultrasound because there's not enough time in a week to show any significant growth (I get to see McDreamy)....so then I go again on the 4th and that's when we will decide what to do. They will do another ultrasound, measure, and then go from there. I don't know what to do. I do know that sometimes ultrasounds can be at least 1-2 pounds off but I KNOW this baby is big. I can tell that the ultrasound is not too far off, like I feel him rolling around in my body and he's not small. I got pictures of his face and of his peesh....he has the big squishy cheeks and his peesh and parts are BIG -haha so my gut is telling me he's not going to be small. And I'm sitting here thinking I have 5 more weeks to get everything done and ready-when I actually only have like 3. BIG time panic mode. This is just too much to deal with all at once. I dont know what to do. I wish someone had a magic wand that would give me all the answers to what I should do.

I suppose the good things about all of this is that I'm pretty much guaranteed a nice sized, healthy baby...and if he does weigh 9-10 pounds that's THAT much weight I don't have to lose, then you lose another 10 with all the blood, water, placenta and other stuff that comes out at birth....I'll be half way to my pre-pregnancy weight! The other good thing that I'm learning is that I have no control over any of this...I think God is trying to tell me something here.