39 Weeks!

Here we are! 39 weeks....1 week to go until D-Day and this baby seems to like his stay in my uterus very much, which is fine with his daddy and me. We have been saying all along how well it would work out if he stayed until his due date or later. It just works out better for us financially with work and what not. That was another reason why I kinda freaked out a few weeks ago when I was told he would probably be here way early. I guess if I had left it up to that doctor, he would have been here with us already, but I'm glad things have gone the way they have, even though it was stressful, I'm glad she was wrong (especially when she told me I wouldn't make it to my due date. Not that I have yet, but I'm just a few days away!)

Paul was in a class this week that he really couldn't skip out on (unless the baby came of course). Because I don't go to the doctor's by myself anymore, I decided to take my mom to meet McDreamy. This was to be a quick visit-the ultrasound will be next week, but I needed to have the usual urine sample, blood pressure, baby heart rate, and, my favorites, weight and internal exam. I am so used to this routine at this point that I go pee and do my weight on my own. It's hard to believe that this "routine" will all be over in just a few short days.

McDreamy came in and checked me out. I had 100 questions of course-one being "what's the plan from here on out?" Two of the very BIG points are two things that go hand in hand: one being how close I am to my due date and the other being the size of this baby. The options are to wait it out and see if I go on my own. If I do, then great, I may or may not have the baby vaginally-like most people. If I don't go on my own, and we get to my 40 week check up, I'll be checked out and have one more ultrasound, in which the baby will be reevaluated and measured. If at that point, he is more than 3,500 KG (or 9.5-10 pounds) he will nit be able to be delivered vaginally and a c-section will have to be scheduled. My other option is to be induced (which may or may not work-as Dr. Mootabar said MANY inductions are long and painful and wind up in a c-section). I once again reiterated that I am not comfortable with being induced and I finally asked if I was being stupid about feeling that way. My McDreamy told me I was absolutely not being stupid for feeling that way and he finally admitted (without actually admitting it-if that makes sense) that based on what he's seen during my exams in  the last couple of weeks that I wouldn't be a very good candidate for an induction and it would probably not work. He also said that he felt at the next ultrasound the baby would be "maxed out" meaning he wouldn't feel comfortable with me trying to give birth vaginally. I'm totally fine with that.

So he examined me, and sure enough, no dilation, no effacement. Same as the last couple of weeks. The cervix is a little soft but barely open at all-he said something like "I can barely get a finger tip in" (sorry if this is TMI). He couldn't feel the baby's head. Before leaving he told me that we will continue to wait-if baby doesn't come between today and my next appointment (which is Thursday, August 25), then we will go ahead with a scheduled c-section, which he wanted me to schedule before I left. The baby may come this week (which I am praying he DOES NOT) because McDreamy is on vacation....he said "I know you love me but I'm out of town this week." When he told me that I thought I'd have a heart attack. So this baby is going to wait it out for McDreamy! :-)

After we finished in the exam room, we went out to this little office in the lobby to make a date for the c-section. While I was talking to the secretary in this office making arrangements, my mom was waiting behind me and there was this women waiting to make another appointment at the front desk. The best way to describe this woman would be to say that she was a stereotypical Northern Westchester mom: hair and nails were perfect, she had about 3 karats in each ear, her outfit and shoes matched, her make up was perfectly done, but the worst part of it all, was that up and down, scope you out look that these types of women have perfected. She was making conversation with my mom. At first she tried talking to me but I didn't have the time nor did I want to pay attention to her comments or nosey questions. I found out later that from my mom that she rambled on and on comparing herself to me, telling my mom how huge I was, that I should have a c-section, asking how much weight I gained, telling her all about her kids....all the while, working that perfect "stare." She even commented about my ankles and legs. Can you imagine? I am so glad I paid no attention to her nonsense because I am at the point that I probably whipped out my good friend, Allyson's favorite line that she uses to totally inappropriate people which goes something like, "I don't see how any of this is any of your business or concern." I don't know where people think they get off with the questions and the prying when you are pregnant. I'm sure it'll get worse once the baby is born. I've really developed a thicker skin when it comes to listening to people banter on and on about their opinions, and especially when they judge you about what you are doing during your pregnancy, what you have done, or what you plan to do when your baby is born.

Things I Hate and Irrational Fears

So it took me 38 weeks and 4 days to have my first real emotional breakdown of this pregnancy. I've had a couple of little breakdowns here and there with the end of school, work drama, and the baby's room but this was the first REAL major meltdown where I just cried uncontrollably and thought to myself that I didn't want to be pregnant anymore. I've gotten this far and it's almost over. I am thankful every day that I have been able to carry this (big) babe for this long. I'll just be happy when we get to meet him. You might be wondering, "You've gotten this far, why all of a sudden are you done?" Well, let me explain why I am "done" by making a list of things that I am done with or hate about being 38 weeks and 4 days pregnant:

1. My new least favorite thing is the pee thing. Anyone that has been pregnant knows that the third trimester comes around and you have to pee much more frequently. What I didn't know was that I would be in the bathroom every 15 minutes. It's absolutely and utterly ridiculous. What's worse, is that when you are so close to the end, you aren't sure whether or not you are about to pee or whether it's your water breaking. So I'm literally in the bathroom every 15 minutes. It's this constant sensation that just doesn't go away. 9 out of 10 times I really have to go and I wonder "where is all of this coming from?" I don't know how I would have done this if I had to work. I spend the day running to the bathroom. Which leads me into my next "least favorite thing..."

2. Sleep. I love the people that say, "Ohhh, you better sleep a lot now and enjoy it because once the baby comes you wont sleep ever again." When people say this, not only do I want to hurt them, but I want to use several 4 letter expletives to describe how moronic that statement is. Remember the whole pee thing? Yeah, well when you have to pee every 15 minutes, you aren't really sleeping that much. How about the extra 40 pounds I'm carrying around? You think it's comfortable to sleep with all that extra weight pulling on your hips, pelvis, and back? Oh and how about all of us poor women who get pregnancy carpel tunnel and can't feel our hands, legs, or feet when we lay down? That's right, I'm going to enjoy all that EXTRA sleep I'm getting with a sore back, getting up to pee 80 times, and numb hands and arms. DUMB. (if you are one of those people who have made this comment to me, now you know not to make it again-just sayin'.)

3. I can't move, stand, walk, be mobile for more than 2 minutes at a time. This is killer, especially when you are a fairly active person and always need to keep busy. I make love to my couch every day and I'm kinda getting sick of the daily routine of "Wake up, Eat breakfast, watch the Today Show, snack, Watch 90210 reruns, Lunch, watch Baby story, watch Make Room for Multiples, snack, Watch Baby's First Day, snack, watch What not to Wear....etc." I guess I shouldn't be complaining because I like routine and that's going to be out the window very shortly, but I'm not used to spending the summer confined to my couch. It didn't help that Paul wasn't around this week and I was all by myself.

4. When I do go out for 5 minutes (which is rare) these days, everyone is constantly staring-at what, I'm not sure of, but they stare. I'm 38+ weeks pregnant, I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to look like, especially since I'm carrying a potential 9-10 pound baby. I just want to wear a shirt that says "Take a Picture, It Lasts Longer." When the lady at the drive thru at Wendy's was asking 100 questions, I thought I'd make the whole "when you are pregnant you become public property" thing fun and tell her that I was having twin boys and that I was due in a few weeks. If you are going to be nosey and ask stupid questions, I'm going to have fun with it.

Okay so thats my rant. Next up are my irrational fears. This could be quite the list because I think of a new one about every 2.4 seconds:

1. How is this baby going to come out? Is he coming out the baby hole? Is he going to be a c-section?
2. When is this baby going to come out?
3. Is my water going to break while I'm sleeping? Holy crap, I hope not....
4. If I go into labor and I call the doctor, are they going to make me labor at home? I will need pain meds ASAP and cannot wait.
5. What happens if I get to the hospital and there is no room for me?
6. What happens if I don't dilate? (McDreamy and I already discussed this, and I'm not doing the labor for 30+ hours....no way not happening)
7. If I have a c-section, that's like, a surgery, can I die from that?! (totally irrational, I know)
8. What if this baby really is 9-10 pounds? Holy crap, he wont fit into any of his newborn clothes or diapers! Will be be hungry all the time?
9. What if he's not cute? (This sounds so so bad, I know, but all of you that have had babies need to admit that you have thought this....I'm admitting to it.)
10. What if baby doesn't like me?
11. What if I don't like the baby? (don't judge, this happens and it freaks me out)
12. What if he's not a booby kinda baby? I want to breast feed, but what happens if he doesn't want to?
13. What if he's colic?
14. What if he doesn't want to sleep, like ever?
15. If I have a c-section, will I be able to hold him? Will everything hurt? Will I be able to walk up and down the stairs?

These are just a few of the 700 irrational fears I have-the ones listed above are the ones I thought of off the top of my head.

Most of these are "what if" questions, which I understand are ridiculous. He could be the most perfect baby ever, I know this too, and the one thing I have been working on within myself if how I have no control of what happens, that I just need to keep a clear head, stay calm and focused, and not stress (easier said than done) but I know that this will be one of the hardest things I will ever do and I'm ready to accept whatever cards I am handed. I think I'm ready, well almost. Is anyone ever really 100% ready?

The Nursery is DONE!

Baby boy's nursery is done! It actually worked out pretty well that we were having a boy. Long before we found out the gender, we decided that if it the baby was a boy, we would keep the color of our guest room the same. It was a blue and a golden harvest color which would be perfect for a boy's room. So we (or I should say Paul) was lucky we didn't have to repaint the whole room (because if it was a girl, it would have been all sorts of shades of pink!) 

What we didn't plan for but wound up doing was ripping up the (disgusting) rugs and put in floors. Paul did the work all by himself and it took a while. The house was a mess, and when we thought he was coming early, it was major panic mode. Luckily enough everything got done. Paul freshened up the paint and the floor moldings. He put up the border and my mom came to set up the crib and iron all the linens since I don't iron (lol). Slowly but surely, everything found it's place, and I love it. It's such a cute room and I love sitting in the rocking chair, just relaxing. I hope BIG boy likes it as much as I do.

This picture was taken while I was sitting in the rocking chair. The room has a lot of funky corners and angles.

Mommy and Carrie practice for the baby. The good thing about this is that the baby will probably be bigger than the dog.

When you walk in the door and look to the left, this is what you see. We have no closet but all the clothes fit nicely in the dresser. His BIG clothes for 9-12 months are stored away.

Standing over in the corner by the window, this is the other side of the room.

When you walk straight in, this is what you see. We don't have anything on the walls yet really. His name letters are ordered and we are awaiting their arrival. We should have them at the end of August! We will put some shelves up also. I just like how crisp and clean it looks without so many chachkas all over.

BIG updates

It was just 3 short weeks ago that I was thrown into a panic thinking that this baby was coming way earlier than we had expected. Apparently, he's enjoying his stay in my uterus and I absolutely don't mind it one bit.

After my July 21st appointment at the doctor's office, I decided a few things:

1. I am not going to an appointment by myself ever again. I don't usually and this may have been one of only two or three appointments that Paul missed, but no more. I will never go alone.
2. I am only going to see one of two doctors during my last weeks of this pregnancy (so far, this has worked out well for me and I am doing much better-and you will read why.)
3. I don't really love Dr. Werbin-Silver has much as I thought I did. I mean I like her and all but she totally freaked me out.
4. I need to chill out.

So after the crazy appointment with Dr. Werbin-Silver, I thought I would just continue to go back to her since she had thought the baby's arrival was imminent and was very concerned, but I decided that I needed to go back to Mootabar (aka McDreamy) to get another opinion about this whole situation. I am so freakin' glad I did. At my 36 week check up on July 28th, he totally reassured me about everything. I was especially anxious because my whole family was going away for a week on August 1, and if I went into labor and had this baby when no one was around, it just wouldn't be good. He assured me that just because I am big doesn't mean he's coming-I wasn't dilated or effaced at all and that he wasn't going anywhere. Thank God. 

I continued to schedule my appointments with McDreamy for the next 2 weeks- August 5 and August 11 (today). I feel like I am living at the doctor since I'm on that once a week visit frequency. With these once a week visits come the "glorious" internal exams. I'm not going to get into the details about these folks, but for those of you who have been pregnant, you know what a real treat they are. At my appointment today, I was still "all closed up." I had an ultrasound that measured the BIG boy at 8 pounds 9 ounces with 2 weeks until my due date, however his growth had slowed down significantly. He measured at 7 pounds 15 ounces 3 weeks ago. So that made me feel a little better. However all of his measurements still put him in the "higher" percentiles....like his head is in the 97th%ile. This tells me that he's not coming out "the baby hole." I'm not really losing any fluid, he's in position to come out the baby hole but this guy is quite large so I'm not sure that's happening. He seems very happy in there. They did some stress-type test on him to see if he was in any kind of distress at all. He got a perfect score- 8/8, so he's perfectly happy, which is fine with me.

McDreamy told us there is nothing to do but wait until he wants to come. He explained he wouldn't want me to go much past my due date because of this babe's size. He won't commit to saying whether or not he thinks a c-section would be a better choice. He often talks about how if would be great if I had him NOW because he might not be too big to have him out of the baby hole. He said induction often times leads to a c-section so while it's an option, it doesn't always work. I gave him the BIG NO on the induction thing. I'm not really interested in being induced. I also asked if there is anything to genetics in labor and delivery, like do women sometimes have similar birthing experiences as their mothers and he said that often times, that's the case. Well, great, because when my mom had me her water broke, they induced her and nothing happened for 40+ hours except for a lot of unnecessary pain-no dilating, no push push, NOTHING. She had to have a c-section and she had general anesthesia. When I finally came out I had to be in a warmer for 4 days. I know that was 30 years go but still. I told McDreamy I'm not doing that. He told me to just chill and see how it goes. So now I'm just waiting. My gut has always told me that I was going to have a c-section, even before I knew I was pregnant, I just had a feeling, the same feeling I had when we decided to try to get pregnant and I knew it would be difficult. So now all we can do is sit and wait....

Every morning I wake up and wonder, "Is this the day I will be someone's mom?" This is all very surreal to me, I can't seem to comprehend what is about to happen. I just hope that when it does, its a happy transition and everyone adjusts well to it.

Happy Anniversary!

Four years ago today, it was a beautiful, cloudless, humid-free 80 degree day and I married my love bug. 2011 had a different plan though, it was about 104 degrees at 80% humidity and any hope of going to the Yankee Game or picnicking outside on the river today was shot. So Paul and I went to Mohonk Mountain Spa and got a "Hello Baby!" massage...which was absolutely glorious. We hung out in our robes in the spa all day then went out for a "Christmas in July" dinner which consisted of my favorite-Zuppe di Pesce (to die for). It was our last anniversary just the two of us and we got to spend lots of time together. Things work out for a reason....and I'm starting to deal with yesterday's news a little better. I just needed today to relax and chill out. Everything we did together today did that.

The best gift for us is yet to come....and he's a big one!

July 22, 2007-Our wedding-a perfect day (and I was so skinny ::sigh::)

Gorgeous Mohonk Spa

We laid like fatties on that couch all day in our robes and drank amazing blueberry white tea while the staff fed us grapes. LOVE.

My anniversary dinner.....Christmas in July. THE BEST!

At a Crossroads-35 weeks

**Disclaimer: I'm stressed....you will find out why after you read this post. If you spot any typos, sorry-deal with it.**


I thought the stress was supposed to end once school got out. Obviously THAT was me being naive. I had a very stressful doctor's appointment today. I am kinda freaked out about it and don't know what to do.


Paul has been trying to finish the baby's room, so he decided to stay home and try to finish it up today while I went to my appointment. I will be 35 weeks on Saturday so I was just going for my biweekly check up, next week I  start the the weekly appointments. I didn't think it was going to be a big deal. They have been telling me for about 6 weeks now that baby boy is bigger than average based on his ultrasound measurements, so they have been watching it closely. My last 3 appointments have been with Dr. Werbin-Silver (super love her) and Dr. Grecco (love him too). Last time I went (which was 2 weeks ago) Grecco told me to have another ultrasound just to check up on his size and weight, but I may not need it. When I saw Werbin-Silver today she informed me that I definitely needed one because "I can tell that's a pretty big baby in there." She didn't even need to say anything to freak me out because the nurse freaked me out enough before the doctor came in when she weighed me and didn't say how much I gained in 2 weeks. When I asked she said SIX POUNDS. And so the nervous breakdown started then.


So, Dr. Werbin Silver came in, they did my strep B test and then my internal. Apparently his head is way down, my cervix is low and closed but she was concerned about how big I had gotten. Time for the ultrasound. So I go out to wait for my ultrasound, she (Barb, the u/s tech who I love) calls me in and starts showing me all his parts and organs and everything. She's measuring all these things and every time she measures something, the computer calculates an "estimated due date" based on the size. And for EVERY SINGLE measurement, it came up between 85-97th percentile for size and the due date for each measured part varied between july 26 and august 6. I was flipping out watching those numbers flash on the screen while I was trying to concentrate more on how cute his little face (well BIG face, really) was (side note: it looks like he has really cute cubby cheeks). 


When she was all done going through everything, the final screen comes up giving the weight and an estimated due date based on the weight....it was July 26 and his weight was in the high 7's (almost 8 pounds). I was flipping out. She even tried to take some of the larger measurements out of the calculations but it didn't make much of a difference-the ultrasound was saying he was almost an 8 pound baby at 35 weeks-the computer was actually saying I was 40+ weeks-can you imagine!?!?! 


So at this point, I am in a complete daze...I am a small person, where is this HUGE baby coming from!?!? I'm all by myself, flipping out, texting Paul, my sister, other people freaking out....then I'm thinking, "holy crap, what if this baby comes the week my parents are away?!" Suddenly my nervous laugh starts to kick in, and I'm laughing in the lobby to myself like a psycho waiting to see what Werbin-Silver says based on the ultrasound. When she called me back into her office it was the first time she ever really seemed concerned about anything. She laid out my options (while I watched her drink her diet Coke-I was more focused on that-it looked good and I was freaking): 

1. If I want to try for a vaginal birth, she recommends doing it between weeks 36-38 but I would need an amnio to make sure his lungs are fully developed, because I guess a vaginal birth can compromise their breathing. 

2. We can try to go to 39 weeks to deliver without an amnio, may or may not need to be induced but then I might be trying to deliver an 11-12 pound baby. Can you freakin' imagine? That's like birthing a Thanksgiving turkey. My dog doesn't even weight that much.

3. Scheduled C section the week of August 8 or the week of August 15.

I go again next Thursday but they aren't doing an ultrasound because there's not enough time in a week to show any significant growth (I get to see McDreamy)....so then I go again on the 4th and that's when we will decide what to do. They will do another ultrasound, measure, and then go from there. I don't know what to do. I do know that sometimes ultrasounds can be at least 1-2 pounds off but I KNOW this baby is big. I can tell that the ultrasound is not too far off, like I feel him rolling around in my body and he's not small. I got pictures of his face and of his peesh....he has the big squishy cheeks and his peesh and parts are BIG -haha so my gut is telling me he's not going to be small. And I'm sitting here thinking I have 5 more weeks to get everything done and ready-when I actually only have like 3. BIG time panic mode. This is just too much to deal with all at once. I dont know what to do. I wish someone had a magic wand that would give me all the answers to what I should do.

I suppose the good things about all of this is that I'm pretty much guaranteed a nice sized, healthy baby...and if he does weigh 9-10 pounds that's THAT much weight I don't have to lose, then you lose another 10 with all the blood, water, placenta and other stuff that comes out at birth....I'll be half way to my pre-pregnancy weight! The other good thing that I'm learning is that I have no control over any of this...I think God is trying to tell me something here. 

35 weeks...picture from today of BIG boy's peesh and parts. Can you see it?  You honestly can't miss it.

33 week ultrasound-BIG boy's profile.

35 week ultrasound-front on view of his face...he looks like the joker....look at those cheeks!

Baby's Room, Baby Belly, and a little of here and there

So the BIG demolition on our guest room/baby's room started last week. Our house looks like a dumpster with crap in boxes all over, furniture being moved, baby stuff EVERYWHERE. We finally cleared out the room and Paul ripped up the rugs. Now we are just waiting for the floors we ordered to come in so Paul can install them. In the meantime, we are leaving the room the same colors but he will freshening the paint and the floor molding. The freakin' floor is taking forever to come in, but this is what the room looks like at the moment...so much bigger without all that HUGE furniture in it.

Picture from the door....no floors yet

That blue stripe is where the border will go.

Apparently, my baby puppy, Carrie, has found a new favorite resting spot, snuggled up between my belly and leg. She's such a little momma. She also loves laying on the glider that is temporarily housed in our living room.

This is my new favorite parking spot at the 84 diner, Babies R Us, and Macy's in Danbury since those seem to be the only 3 places that have any respect for women who are 900 weeks pregnant and want to go shopping.

And a belly picture because people keep asking me for one....sorry it's not very good. I hate these anyway and since there is so much crap around my house, this is the best you are gonna get for now. 32+ weeks and counting!

31 weeks and the first day of summer vacation!

So much has gone on in the last weeks....lots of stress at work, check ups, packing up a classroom, report cards, 2 baby showers at work, lots of good byes...it's been quite a roller coaster but we got through it. As I sit and type this entry, I am sitting on the couch, two doggies at my side, drinking my favorite chocolate moo milk, eating my favorite cereal watching the Today Show, and trying to wrap my head around the fact that I don't have to go to work until "I don't know when." As hard as I try, I can't seem to really understand or comprehend NOT going to school/work in September and that in just a few short weeks, I will be a mom-there will be a baby that is OURS in this house. It just doesn't seem real.

Work: In short, the last two weeks at work were extremely stressful, almost to the point where Dr. Werbin-Silver wanted me to stay home the last couple of days. I was having a lot of those Braxton Hicks contractions both in school and at night at home when I'd try to relax going to bed. I'm just glad that it's all over. It was very hot and I had a lot to pack up at school. I don't know what will happen when I go back, when I will go back, or where I will be put, but I'm just glad it's over and I can focus on things that are more important and not on the crazy drama that is a daily ritual there. On the 14th, the staff got together after school and had a shower for me. Baby Boy got so many clothes! It was really nice. My mom and dad were both there and Marisa brought our other FGL baby for a visit! 

Okay Sabrina, give me that baby!

Baby Melina and me <3

Table of goodies at school shower

I planned an end of the year party for my class last Monday and, to my (sort of) surprise, the class moms had planned a shower for me from my class. I was completely overwhelmed by all the gifts and how many parents showed up. It was really very sweet and it was very hard not to get teary in front of the kids. They gave me this scrapbook of "Wishes for the Baby." Each child wrote notes to me and wished me luck. Some wrote about what they hope the baby is like. It was hard to hold back the hormonal tears. I was very overwhelmed. 

So now I'm home for a couple of weeks before I'm off to do some curriculum work. I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that school is over and I can relax....there is still so much left to do and this baby is coming soon!

Love the "Baby" cake - made by Lisa Goetchius (love her)

My kiddoddles

Madisen-she thinks I'm naming the baby Marvin, even thought I've told her about 7,000 times that's not the baby's name. She even wrote it all over her leg on the last day of school.

I look absolutely elephant like in this picture (which was Madisen's original name for the baby before Marvin). This is what she would do to me all day from February until the last day of school.

Birthing Class

Amidst of all of the chaos this week (Relay for Life, my shower, etc.), I totally forgot to mention my child birthing class, which was quite interesting, but honestly, they really didn't give me any information I didn't know. We got to see the L & D floor again, we saw babies in the nursery (which I LOVE), and they basically gave a lot of information that I had read tons and tons about over the last 2 years because, I as I mentioned in a previous post, I am an information person and need to know and see things before they happen. I'm totally not a surprise person....

I just find it very amusing when people try to throw their "opinions" on you about a topic. For instance, the two big ones are breastfeeding and natural childbirth. I don't really get a lot of flack about breastfeeding because I plan on doing it, but the natural childbirth people drive me crazy. My feeling about child birth is that the baby is going to come out how and when he wants. There have been so many advances in the medical field that can make this a somewhat comfortable experience. I am not putting myself through hours and hours of insane amounts of pain so that I can "say" I gave birth naturally. Then people get all judgmental and criticize you when you give your opinion about things, meanwhile they are saying their way is the ONLY way to do it right. My whole mantra now is to just say "Whatever." Apparently you become public property when you are pregnant and people think they can say whatever they want to you. It's hard not to get worked up and flip out and it's hard to keep good boundaries during all of this...especially as the days and weeks creep by.

My Baby Shower!

It seems like only yesterday that we were telling everyone that we were having a baby...it's hard to believe that today was my baby shower. Am I really 28 weeks pregnant? Has it really gone by this fast?

My shower was AMAZING, of course. Any party hosted by anyone in my family is generally pretty over the top and fantastic (not to be conceited or anything, but my family really knows how to do parties.) My momma hosted a baby shower brunch at the Lexington Square Cafe in Mount Kisco, NY. And no, it wasn't a surprise-she had that thrill when I got married at my bridal shower. I needed to be involved in this party. The theme (or sorta theme) was "baby clothes line" since that's what my invitations were. The cake was decorated just like the invitation and the room we had the party in had a long clothesline hanging for people to hang onesies and clothes. The tables were decorated with white baskets filled with yellow star gazer lilies that people could take home. My Sissy made the favors-"Baby Cakes." Everyone got a box of 4 cupcakes to take home-all decorated with different baby goodies, like a fondant bottle, white onesie, and blue chocolate shoes. Most amazing.

I think the one thing that really overwhelmed me was how generous everyone was. I can't believe how much stuff we got. I remember thinking the same thing at my bridal shower, but holy, I was totally not expecting to get almost everything we had asked for. I was truly at a loss for words (and those of you who know me, know how rare that is). I feel truly blessed by everyone's generosity and am so grateful for having such a wonderful day to spend time with the people I love most in the whole world. There were people that I missed having there, but they were there in spirit. It was such a great day that I will never forget.

I've posted some photos below from the shower in case you were there and wanted to see or in case you missed it!

Early pics with sissy and 2 cousins

Most delicious chocolate raspberry cake ever!

Me with my sissybearfluffybunny

Sissy's cupcakes

Round 1 of presents...3 carloads worth.

Yay for the MMS friends!

Sissy's Babycake Favors

Me, Sissy, and Momma Bear

Yay for my FGL friends! <3 you!

My Preview of the Labor and Delivery Floor

Well I just couldn't wait to get into that labor and delivery room until August...we had to take an unexpected visit early this morning. And holy, did it put everything into perspective and make everything suddenly become real.

It's been super hot here all week and I've been doing my best to stay hydrated but it's awfully hard, especially at work. This morning I woke up, went to the bathroom, and had some bleeding. It was about 7:30. Paul was sleeping so I frantically texted my friend Michelle to see if I should call the doctor and she told me I should. After contemplating this and making some noise in hopes that Paul would wake up, he finally did and I told him what happened. He told me to call too. I waited a little while before I called. Dr. Grecco called me right back and told me to come to the hospital since he was on call and it was a Sunday.

So down to Northern Westchester we went. We got admitted right away and went right up to the labor and delivery floor. I was pretty calm until we got to the nurses station and I saw what appeared to be a couple of nurses and my doctor dressed from head to toe in surgical scrubs going in and out of one of these labor/delivery rooms. We stood there for a couple of minutes before they told me which room I would be in. Any one that knows me knows how nosey and inquisitive I am about things (especially things I've never done before). So as the nurse escorted us to our room, I peeked inside the room where all the activity was happening and nearly hit the floor. THAT WOMAN IN THERE IS HAVING A FREAKIN' BABY!

That's what made it so real. Seeing this woman propped up on the bed, just like you see on tv with all these people around her, all the people going in and out totally freaked me out. My nurse escorted us to our room at the end of the hall where I proceeded to look at everything, ask a trillion questions, and play with all the gadgets. Thank God the nurse was patient because I was like a little kid. She strapped 2 monitors on my belly once I got settled in. 1 monitor picked up the heartbeat and the other was for contractions (to see if I was having any). The nurse went out and got me two big jugs of fluid-one filled with crangrape juice (yum) and the other with ice water. I was very happy with my choices of beverage, i just took turns slurping them down. His heartbeat was so loud-it was amazing to hear. That is until he decided that he was going to do all sorts of Cirque du Soleil acrobatics in my uterus and kick the monitor off. He had never been so active. It was really cool to feel, there are really no words that can describe what that feels like. Once I got used to my surroundings and we were settled in, Paul and I turned the tv on (I was more concerned with what the monitors were showing though). It was so quiet on the floor, we actually heard a baby crying not too far away. It took a few minutes for me to realize that the baby crying was the freakin' woman next door! She must have had the baby. Again, this was all really happening...holy crap.

After being monitored for almost 2 hours, Dr. Grecco came in and did an exam. It was very quick but I was so distracted by the way the room was actually like a transformer. The bed turned into this multi-level table that I could be examined on, these huge lights came out of the ceiling...it was truly unbelievable. In the end, I was fine, there was nothing wrong with my cervix or the baby. The bleeding could have just been from being slightly dehydrated, among other things and I need to relax and rest (yeah, relax-June is NOT the month that would afford me any kind of relaxation). So that was it. I am very glad I got a sneak preview of the L & D floor because I am such an information person and need to know everything before it actually happens. I'm chalking this up to a good learning experience.

I said I would never do this but....

One thing I swore I would NEVER EVER EVER do as a pregnant person was take a million belly shots every week and post them on Facebook, GChat, and every other freakin' place for everyone to gawk at and see.

However, if one more person tells me how enormous I am, I'm going to wind up in jail for assault, murder, or both. I am twenty-freakin'-six weeks pregnant. How big am I supposed to be? The best comment is, "Are you sure there's only one in there?" I think being pregnant should give you a free pass to just knock every stupid person with even more stupid comments in the face. God give me the strength.

So here is my one and ONLY belly shot that I promised I would NEVER EVER take, just to prove a point that I am: A. not that big and B. NOT HAVING MORE THAN ONE BABY.

I'm hormonal and have been sick for the last 6 days-this concludes my rant.

26 weeks pregnant-
This is for all of you who think I am enormous. I have two words for you:
BITE ME!

*random thought: my belly looks so nice and smooth, thank you Body Shop Cocoa Butter!*
Here's to keeping those nasty stretch marks far far away! 

WE ARE IN THE NY POST!

Our Gender Cake was in the NY POST! Stuff like this doesn't happen to us but it actually did! I can't even believe it! How did it all happen? Where do I begin....

My sissy and I have a love affair with everything Food Network, so of course we would have subscriptions to the Food Network Magazine. Well, last month, I flipped open to page 27 and low and behold there was an article about Gender Cakes! So I frantically wrote an e-mail to the editor, thinking "what are the odds that my e-mail and photo would be used in the magazine?" I sent it and didn't hear anything for a couple of weeks. Then one day, I check my e-mail and there is a message from one of the Food Magazine editors, asking for contact info because she wanted to call me so that she could follow up and publish my letter in the magazine! She proceeded to tell me that a writer for the NY Post was also interested in doing a feature and would be contacting me as well! I was flipping out!

So after about 3 weeks, several phone interviews, and e-mailed photos later, here we are, in the NY Post! Next month will be food magazine! Lots of stuff for the baby book!

Article starts on here. It was in the Pulse section of the NY Post.

WE EVEN GOT COLOR PICTURES PUBLISHED! OMFG!

Happy Mother's Day!

While baby boy isn't even born yet, he is certainly letting me know he is on the way by tap tap tapping a ton! A lot of people have wished me a happy mother's day and a little boy in my class even brought me a mother's day gift on Friday. It's really hard to wrap my head around the fact that people are actually wishing ME a happy mother's day! I am going to be a mom!!! It just seems so surreal.

So hear's to all the mommies and soon-to be mommies out there. For those of you who have children already, I look forward to joining you. And to those of you who are "housing" your babe, enjoy your first in what I hope will be many for you. <3

Me with my momma-1st Christmas

Good morning! 1987ish

Easter-1987 or 1988

The things you realize when you are pregnant...

Before I became pregnant, I always tended to be a thinker....I totally over thought things and analyzed everything way too much. Apparently, as a pregnant person, it only becomes worse because now there are so many new and unexpected things to notice, think, and even worry about.

I always wonder about what he will look like. Will he have dark hair and skin like me? Will he have light eyes like Paul? Will he be tall and thin like his daddy or will he be a little meatball like his momma? I wonder what his personality will be like. Will be be even tempered and patient like his dad or a loud ball of thunder like his momma? (God help us all) I wonder what he will like and what he will grow up to be and if he will enjoy some of the same things Paul and I enjoyed as children. I even wonder what kind of parent I'd be and how I'd handle certain situations. I pray every day that I don't "screw him up." I see a lot of different situations and parenting techniques year after year being a teacher, so I have a pretty good idea of what/who I want to be as a parent, but I don't have a crystal ball. I don't know how things will pan out. All of these things are so out of our control. I just hope that other soon to be moms worry about the same thing and that it's not just me being crazy.

Last night, I went to a dinner/celebration to honor one of my most favorite teachers growing up and to say good bye to the school that I attended as a child for 9 years. It was only until after I started driving home after this celebration that something occurred to me that I couldn't help but notice. I went to that school for 9 years. I started as a 5 year old babe and left there as a 14 year old, not sure of who I was or where I was going. My family was moving, and even though I was graduating from that school, it was all I had ever known, and my classmates, their parents, and the teachers there were like my family and that school was my second home. Even after all the years of being away from that "family," I realized that being with those people who had such an impact on my life as a child and young adult hadn't felt any different. It was as if no time had passed and, whether it was a classmate I went to school with, a teacher I had for those 9 years, or my elementary school crush, when I saw these people, we did not skip a beat. It was like coming home. It occurred to me on the ride home last night that I had the most incredible school experience, filled with love and kindness that no one can take away from me. The bond that I had with those families and teachers in that school is priceless and, I fear, cannot be matched. I can only hope and pray that my son could have the same school experience that I had growing up, but it's hard to imagine that to be possible...I try to find the words to describe how what a huge part of my life that school community was and still is, but, I don' think thats possible.

It breaks my heart that I won't be able to take my children by the school I went to growing up, that instilled discipline, morals, and values that I will carry through the rest of my life. Sure, the building will always be there, but it will be never be what it was, with the people inside that cared for me so much and that I loved so deeply. The one thing I can do to help the legacy of this amazing school and these amazing people live on is to instill the same discipline and values that they instilled in me, into my children.

As a parent, you want your child to have the best possible school experience-and my parents can say that. I thank God every day that my parents sent me to that school because I would not be who and where I am today. I can just hope that for baby boy, he will have a school experience somewhat like mine, because what I had growing up, cannot be matched or superseded. It was truly once in a lifetime-St. Bart's and its teachers were God's gifts to me-gifts that I have never taken for granted and will hold close to my heart for the rest of my life that I hope I can pass on to my children.

24 Weeks and counting!

I had my 24 week check up today with the 4th and final doctor that could potentially be delivering baby boy. I was actually pretty nervous about seeing her because rumor had it was that she is "tough" and "in and out." So I was a little anxious. They told me at my 20 week appointment that the 24 week is a quick and easy one so I figured I'd make it with her. Well I was pleasantly surprised because she was great. Apparently, the 24 week appointment really is an "in and out" appointment. There aren't any ultrasounds, blood tests, or anything like that. It's really just to check in, see if I have any questions, and to check the fetal heartbeat. She was very pleasant and spent a good amount of time with me, answering all of my questions. She was much "warmer" than I had expected.

So I am 4 for 4 with my doctors! I'll be happy to have any of them deliver baby boy, however I am rooting for McDreamy Mootabar but I am not going to get my hopes up.

Baby's heartbeat sounded great! He's getting bigger and stronger! Can't wait until I get to see him at my 28 week appointment. What I can wait for is that Glucose Test...not a good feeling about that but I guess we'll have to wait and see...

Half Way to the Finish Line!

We had our 20 week check up today! The big one! We had the anatomy scan and everything look perfect. I loved the appointment because Barb, the ultrasound tech, spent over 30 minutes going over every little detail of the baby's anatomy. It was kind of amazing what you can see and how much is developed. Everything looked perfect she said and so did Dr. Werbin-Silver. In my OBGYN office, there are 4 doctors. If you are pregnant, you have to see all 4 of them before you deliver because you never know which one you are going to get when it comes time to have baby. So this was my first "non-McDreamy" appointment. While I missed him a lot, she was fantastic, and I'd be thrilled if she was the doctor on-call delivering baby boy. So I'm 2 for 2. Next appointment isn't until the beginning of May (yuck). Let's see if I can hold off for 4 weeks without having a nervous breakdown about something.

I've posted some of the pictures from the scan. Totally amazing.

Baby boy Hafemann, side profile

Baby Boy's big penis

3D baby boy...he's so freakin' cute already!

IT'S A BOY!

IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY!

I can't believe we finally know what little babe is and that this is actually really happening! Knowing makes it really truly come to life. I always knew in my gut that it was a boy but I never really trust that feeling. I'll never forget the at the first ultrasound screaming, IT'S A BOY! After listening to the heartbeat, I guess I was right! I am so excited and so is Paul.

My mom planned to have a 30th birthday brunch for me on March 27th (since my birthday is the 31st) then she thought since the anatomy scan wasn't until April 7th, we could do a Gender Reveal party and have a little dinner party, but I just couldn't wait. on March 23rd, I thought "If I could just get into the doctor to check me out, I bet we could find out, because they were pretty sure the last time but they weren't 100%" On the 24th, we had a 2 hour delay, so I called at 9, told them I've been having some cramping and they told me to come in to get checked out. I happily went and Dr. McDreamy did my ultrasound. As soon as he flipped on the ultrasound monitor he said "uh oh, I know what the gender is, do you?!" I immediately said "NO! you have to write it down!" Then I whipped my head to look but he told me not to. I instantly thought, "Holy crap, this is a boy!" I kept trying to peak and he kept telling me to stop. After about 7 or 8 minutes he let me look (I had no clue what I was looking at) and then he was done. He went over to the counter, sealed up what I thought was a paper, in an envelope and off I went, happy as can be.

I went back to work. Luann held the envelope for me because I was so tempted to peek. After school, mom and I took it to the bakery and the ladies were freaking out because they had never done anything like that before. They were thrilled! They couldn't wait for us to leave so that they could open up that envelope. The next 3 days seemed to take forever to pass. It didn't help that everyone was asking and asking. I couldn't wait until Sunday!

Mom had a HUGE (as always) spread on Sunday for my brunch. A couple of good friends were able to come which was so exciting, and my whole family was there of course. Everyone was dressed in pink or blue depending on what they thought the baby was. Paul wore blue and I wore pink, I figured we both couldn't wear blue, what happens if it wasn't a boy?! One of use had to represent the gender of the baby we were having! Everyone couldn't wait to cut this cake. As soon as we were done eating breakfast, everyone wanted to go to dessert immediately. It wasn't until about 12:15 that we were ready to do the deal. I was shaking, my heart was fluttering. It was more nerve wracking than saying my vows at my wedding! We carefully cut the cake with our wedding cake cutters and I slowly and carefully (don't know how I did this without dropping the cake) slide the piece out and started screaming "IT'S A BOY!" Everyone was so excited and of course they were all screaming. I'm trying to get the video clip up so you can really enjoy the moment. It was such a moment. Something that I'll never forget.

We also confirmed by opening the envelope that it IS in fact a boy. Dr. McDreamy apparently thought it would be different to take 2 ultrasound pics of my SON'S penis and put them in the envelope. He circled the penis in each picture and wrote "I'm a BOY!" Check out the pictures below....What a day!

The beautiful cake from Sweet Delites in Somers

Getting ready for the BIG cut!

OH BOY! Blue filling!

McDreamy put an ultrasound in the envelope and circled his little penis. Yet another reason why I love my doctor so so much!

Baby's first Polo-thanks to Auntie Lee AKA sissybear

It was delicious (so were the other 75 cakes at the party)