The things you realize when you are pregnant...

Before I became pregnant, I always tended to be a thinker....I totally over thought things and analyzed everything way too much. Apparently, as a pregnant person, it only becomes worse because now there are so many new and unexpected things to notice, think, and even worry about.

I always wonder about what he will look like. Will he have dark hair and skin like me? Will he have light eyes like Paul? Will he be tall and thin like his daddy or will he be a little meatball like his momma? I wonder what his personality will be like. Will be be even tempered and patient like his dad or a loud ball of thunder like his momma? (God help us all) I wonder what he will like and what he will grow up to be and if he will enjoy some of the same things Paul and I enjoyed as children. I even wonder what kind of parent I'd be and how I'd handle certain situations. I pray every day that I don't "screw him up." I see a lot of different situations and parenting techniques year after year being a teacher, so I have a pretty good idea of what/who I want to be as a parent, but I don't have a crystal ball. I don't know how things will pan out. All of these things are so out of our control. I just hope that other soon to be moms worry about the same thing and that it's not just me being crazy.

Last night, I went to a dinner/celebration to honor one of my most favorite teachers growing up and to say good bye to the school that I attended as a child for 9 years. It was only until after I started driving home after this celebration that something occurred to me that I couldn't help but notice. I went to that school for 9 years. I started as a 5 year old babe and left there as a 14 year old, not sure of who I was or where I was going. My family was moving, and even though I was graduating from that school, it was all I had ever known, and my classmates, their parents, and the teachers there were like my family and that school was my second home. Even after all the years of being away from that "family," I realized that being with those people who had such an impact on my life as a child and young adult hadn't felt any different. It was as if no time had passed and, whether it was a classmate I went to school with, a teacher I had for those 9 years, or my elementary school crush, when I saw these people, we did not skip a beat. It was like coming home. It occurred to me on the ride home last night that I had the most incredible school experience, filled with love and kindness that no one can take away from me. The bond that I had with those families and teachers in that school is priceless and, I fear, cannot be matched. I can only hope and pray that my son could have the same school experience that I had growing up, but it's hard to imagine that to be possible...I try to find the words to describe how what a huge part of my life that school community was and still is, but, I don' think thats possible.

It breaks my heart that I won't be able to take my children by the school I went to growing up, that instilled discipline, morals, and values that I will carry through the rest of my life. Sure, the building will always be there, but it will be never be what it was, with the people inside that cared for me so much and that I loved so deeply. The one thing I can do to help the legacy of this amazing school and these amazing people live on is to instill the same discipline and values that they instilled in me, into my children.

As a parent, you want your child to have the best possible school experience-and my parents can say that. I thank God every day that my parents sent me to that school because I would not be who and where I am today. I can just hope that for baby boy, he will have a school experience somewhat like mine, because what I had growing up, cannot be matched or superseded. It was truly once in a lifetime-St. Bart's and its teachers were God's gifts to me-gifts that I have never taken for granted and will hold close to my heart for the rest of my life that I hope I can pass on to my children.

24 Weeks and counting!

I had my 24 week check up today with the 4th and final doctor that could potentially be delivering baby boy. I was actually pretty nervous about seeing her because rumor had it was that she is "tough" and "in and out." So I was a little anxious. They told me at my 20 week appointment that the 24 week is a quick and easy one so I figured I'd make it with her. Well I was pleasantly surprised because she was great. Apparently, the 24 week appointment really is an "in and out" appointment. There aren't any ultrasounds, blood tests, or anything like that. It's really just to check in, see if I have any questions, and to check the fetal heartbeat. She was very pleasant and spent a good amount of time with me, answering all of my questions. She was much "warmer" than I had expected.

So I am 4 for 4 with my doctors! I'll be happy to have any of them deliver baby boy, however I am rooting for McDreamy Mootabar but I am not going to get my hopes up.

Baby's heartbeat sounded great! He's getting bigger and stronger! Can't wait until I get to see him at my 28 week appointment. What I can wait for is that Glucose Test...not a good feeling about that but I guess we'll have to wait and see...

Half Way to the Finish Line!

We had our 20 week check up today! The big one! We had the anatomy scan and everything look perfect. I loved the appointment because Barb, the ultrasound tech, spent over 30 minutes going over every little detail of the baby's anatomy. It was kind of amazing what you can see and how much is developed. Everything looked perfect she said and so did Dr. Werbin-Silver. In my OBGYN office, there are 4 doctors. If you are pregnant, you have to see all 4 of them before you deliver because you never know which one you are going to get when it comes time to have baby. So this was my first "non-McDreamy" appointment. While I missed him a lot, she was fantastic, and I'd be thrilled if she was the doctor on-call delivering baby boy. So I'm 2 for 2. Next appointment isn't until the beginning of May (yuck). Let's see if I can hold off for 4 weeks without having a nervous breakdown about something.

I've posted some of the pictures from the scan. Totally amazing.

Baby boy Hafemann, side profile

Baby Boy's big penis

3D baby boy...he's so freakin' cute already!

IT'S A BOY!

IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY!

I can't believe we finally know what little babe is and that this is actually really happening! Knowing makes it really truly come to life. I always knew in my gut that it was a boy but I never really trust that feeling. I'll never forget the at the first ultrasound screaming, IT'S A BOY! After listening to the heartbeat, I guess I was right! I am so excited and so is Paul.

My mom planned to have a 30th birthday brunch for me on March 27th (since my birthday is the 31st) then she thought since the anatomy scan wasn't until April 7th, we could do a Gender Reveal party and have a little dinner party, but I just couldn't wait. on March 23rd, I thought "If I could just get into the doctor to check me out, I bet we could find out, because they were pretty sure the last time but they weren't 100%" On the 24th, we had a 2 hour delay, so I called at 9, told them I've been having some cramping and they told me to come in to get checked out. I happily went and Dr. McDreamy did my ultrasound. As soon as he flipped on the ultrasound monitor he said "uh oh, I know what the gender is, do you?!" I immediately said "NO! you have to write it down!" Then I whipped my head to look but he told me not to. I instantly thought, "Holy crap, this is a boy!" I kept trying to peak and he kept telling me to stop. After about 7 or 8 minutes he let me look (I had no clue what I was looking at) and then he was done. He went over to the counter, sealed up what I thought was a paper, in an envelope and off I went, happy as can be.

I went back to work. Luann held the envelope for me because I was so tempted to peek. After school, mom and I took it to the bakery and the ladies were freaking out because they had never done anything like that before. They were thrilled! They couldn't wait for us to leave so that they could open up that envelope. The next 3 days seemed to take forever to pass. It didn't help that everyone was asking and asking. I couldn't wait until Sunday!

Mom had a HUGE (as always) spread on Sunday for my brunch. A couple of good friends were able to come which was so exciting, and my whole family was there of course. Everyone was dressed in pink or blue depending on what they thought the baby was. Paul wore blue and I wore pink, I figured we both couldn't wear blue, what happens if it wasn't a boy?! One of use had to represent the gender of the baby we were having! Everyone couldn't wait to cut this cake. As soon as we were done eating breakfast, everyone wanted to go to dessert immediately. It wasn't until about 12:15 that we were ready to do the deal. I was shaking, my heart was fluttering. It was more nerve wracking than saying my vows at my wedding! We carefully cut the cake with our wedding cake cutters and I slowly and carefully (don't know how I did this without dropping the cake) slide the piece out and started screaming "IT'S A BOY!" Everyone was so excited and of course they were all screaming. I'm trying to get the video clip up so you can really enjoy the moment. It was such a moment. Something that I'll never forget.

We also confirmed by opening the envelope that it IS in fact a boy. Dr. McDreamy apparently thought it would be different to take 2 ultrasound pics of my SON'S penis and put them in the envelope. He circled the penis in each picture and wrote "I'm a BOY!" Check out the pictures below....What a day!

The beautiful cake from Sweet Delites in Somers

Getting ready for the BIG cut!

OH BOY! Blue filling!

McDreamy put an ultrasound in the envelope and circled his little penis. Yet another reason why I love my doctor so so much!

Baby's first Polo-thanks to Auntie Lee AKA sissybear

It was delicious (so were the other 75 cakes at the party)

We have a gender!

So I decided I couldn't wait any longer! I'm turning 30 in a week, my mom is having a party/brunch for me, and we MUST know what this baby is. We had a delay today so I called the doctor and told him I had some cramping. He told me to come in, he did an ultrasound and immediately said, "I know the gender! Do you!?" (which kinda made me switch back to thinking it's a boy....but anyway....I told him to write it down on a piece of paper and put it in an envelope.

After work and some appointments, my mom and I took the envelope with the results to the bakery where they are going to make a neutral cake on the outside and fill the cake on the inside with whatever the gender is-blue for a boy or pink for a girl! So we will be finding out in just a few short days when we cut the cake! It's so nerve wracking but I just can't wait to be able to say "he or she!"

16 weeks and getting bigger

We went to our 16 week check up today with very high hopes that we would be able to find out the gender! We also had to finish up some of the Downs and other genetic tests that we had done. In the pouring rain, Paul met me in Mount Kisco and I invited my mom too. I thought it would be nice for her to be there, especially since we were pretty confident that Barbara, the Ultrasound tech, would be able to tell the gender! We had plans to bring the results right to the bakery so that they could start the work for the gender party....well that was not meant to be.

We went in for the ultrasound first and the baby was super active and his/her legs were crossed. Barb looked and looked for about 10 minutes or so and stopped. She told me to have my exam and blood work done, to go pee, then she'd try again. So that's what we did. Of course my veins didn't want to cooperate and it took several stabs to find a vein that would give blood. My (hottie) doctor was amazing as always. Weight gain seems fine and everything looks normal (yay). So we went back to the Ultrasound room.

Barb spent another 15 minutes looking, looking, looking. We saw EVERYTHING....the bladder, kidneys, heart, brain, the feet....you name it. She got really quiet for a while and after all the time, she shut off the monitor and said "I'm pretty sure I know what it is but I'm not 100% so I'm not going to say." It was disappointing but I'd rather that she know for sure. Then she said "At this point, girls' labia can be swollen and resemble boys scrotum, so it's too soon to say one or the other." This lead me to believe that it's a girl. I thought if it were a boy, there would be a penis there too, no? All of my friends that have had boys have seen a little peesh at 14-16 weeks. I'm pretty sure it's a girl now. It really doesn't matter at this point. I'm just so happy to be having a little life in my body. It's the greatest thing ever.

16 weeks! 

Favorite Names

I thought I'd get a little list started of our favorite baby names because I am pretty sure that at some point over the next 26 weeks I will lose the piece of paper that I have written them on....of course we are keeping the final choice a surprise until little babe is born. So many cute names but we can only pick one!

Boy Favorites
Braden
Connor
Thomas
Aidan
Dylan
Jake
Landon
Luke
Evan
Andrew
Jackson
Riley


Girl Names
Ella
Grace
Addison
Olivia
Isabella
Giselle
Madelyn
Vivienne
Quinn
Audrey
Marisa
Charlotte
Leigh
Aubrey
Ashlynn