BIG updates

It was just 3 short weeks ago that I was thrown into a panic thinking that this baby was coming way earlier than we had expected. Apparently, he's enjoying his stay in my uterus and I absolutely don't mind it one bit.

After my July 21st appointment at the doctor's office, I decided a few things:

1. I am not going to an appointment by myself ever again. I don't usually and this may have been one of only two or three appointments that Paul missed, but no more. I will never go alone.
2. I am only going to see one of two doctors during my last weeks of this pregnancy (so far, this has worked out well for me and I am doing much better-and you will read why.)
3. I don't really love Dr. Werbin-Silver has much as I thought I did. I mean I like her and all but she totally freaked me out.
4. I need to chill out.

So after the crazy appointment with Dr. Werbin-Silver, I thought I would just continue to go back to her since she had thought the baby's arrival was imminent and was very concerned, but I decided that I needed to go back to Mootabar (aka McDreamy) to get another opinion about this whole situation. I am so freakin' glad I did. At my 36 week check up on July 28th, he totally reassured me about everything. I was especially anxious because my whole family was going away for a week on August 1, and if I went into labor and had this baby when no one was around, it just wouldn't be good. He assured me that just because I am big doesn't mean he's coming-I wasn't dilated or effaced at all and that he wasn't going anywhere. Thank God. 

I continued to schedule my appointments with McDreamy for the next 2 weeks- August 5 and August 11 (today). I feel like I am living at the doctor since I'm on that once a week visit frequency. With these once a week visits come the "glorious" internal exams. I'm not going to get into the details about these folks, but for those of you who have been pregnant, you know what a real treat they are. At my appointment today, I was still "all closed up." I had an ultrasound that measured the BIG boy at 8 pounds 9 ounces with 2 weeks until my due date, however his growth had slowed down significantly. He measured at 7 pounds 15 ounces 3 weeks ago. So that made me feel a little better. However all of his measurements still put him in the "higher" percentiles....like his head is in the 97th%ile. This tells me that he's not coming out "the baby hole." I'm not really losing any fluid, he's in position to come out the baby hole but this guy is quite large so I'm not sure that's happening. He seems very happy in there. They did some stress-type test on him to see if he was in any kind of distress at all. He got a perfect score- 8/8, so he's perfectly happy, which is fine with me.

McDreamy told us there is nothing to do but wait until he wants to come. He explained he wouldn't want me to go much past my due date because of this babe's size. He won't commit to saying whether or not he thinks a c-section would be a better choice. He often talks about how if would be great if I had him NOW because he might not be too big to have him out of the baby hole. He said induction often times leads to a c-section so while it's an option, it doesn't always work. I gave him the BIG NO on the induction thing. I'm not really interested in being induced. I also asked if there is anything to genetics in labor and delivery, like do women sometimes have similar birthing experiences as their mothers and he said that often times, that's the case. Well, great, because when my mom had me her water broke, they induced her and nothing happened for 40+ hours except for a lot of unnecessary pain-no dilating, no push push, NOTHING. She had to have a c-section and she had general anesthesia. When I finally came out I had to be in a warmer for 4 days. I know that was 30 years go but still. I told McDreamy I'm not doing that. He told me to just chill and see how it goes. So now I'm just waiting. My gut has always told me that I was going to have a c-section, even before I knew I was pregnant, I just had a feeling, the same feeling I had when we decided to try to get pregnant and I knew it would be difficult. So now all we can do is sit and wait....

Every morning I wake up and wonder, "Is this the day I will be someone's mom?" This is all very surreal to me, I can't seem to comprehend what is about to happen. I just hope that when it does, its a happy transition and everyone adjusts well to it.

Happy Anniversary!

Four years ago today, it was a beautiful, cloudless, humid-free 80 degree day and I married my love bug. 2011 had a different plan though, it was about 104 degrees at 80% humidity and any hope of going to the Yankee Game or picnicking outside on the river today was shot. So Paul and I went to Mohonk Mountain Spa and got a "Hello Baby!" massage...which was absolutely glorious. We hung out in our robes in the spa all day then went out for a "Christmas in July" dinner which consisted of my favorite-Zuppe di Pesce (to die for). It was our last anniversary just the two of us and we got to spend lots of time together. Things work out for a reason....and I'm starting to deal with yesterday's news a little better. I just needed today to relax and chill out. Everything we did together today did that.

The best gift for us is yet to come....and he's a big one!

July 22, 2007-Our wedding-a perfect day (and I was so skinny ::sigh::)

Gorgeous Mohonk Spa

We laid like fatties on that couch all day in our robes and drank amazing blueberry white tea while the staff fed us grapes. LOVE.

My anniversary dinner.....Christmas in July. THE BEST!

At a Crossroads-35 weeks

**Disclaimer: I'm stressed....you will find out why after you read this post. If you spot any typos, sorry-deal with it.**


I thought the stress was supposed to end once school got out. Obviously THAT was me being naive. I had a very stressful doctor's appointment today. I am kinda freaked out about it and don't know what to do.


Paul has been trying to finish the baby's room, so he decided to stay home and try to finish it up today while I went to my appointment. I will be 35 weeks on Saturday so I was just going for my biweekly check up, next week I  start the the weekly appointments. I didn't think it was going to be a big deal. They have been telling me for about 6 weeks now that baby boy is bigger than average based on his ultrasound measurements, so they have been watching it closely. My last 3 appointments have been with Dr. Werbin-Silver (super love her) and Dr. Grecco (love him too). Last time I went (which was 2 weeks ago) Grecco told me to have another ultrasound just to check up on his size and weight, but I may not need it. When I saw Werbin-Silver today she informed me that I definitely needed one because "I can tell that's a pretty big baby in there." She didn't even need to say anything to freak me out because the nurse freaked me out enough before the doctor came in when she weighed me and didn't say how much I gained in 2 weeks. When I asked she said SIX POUNDS. And so the nervous breakdown started then.


So, Dr. Werbin Silver came in, they did my strep B test and then my internal. Apparently his head is way down, my cervix is low and closed but she was concerned about how big I had gotten. Time for the ultrasound. So I go out to wait for my ultrasound, she (Barb, the u/s tech who I love) calls me in and starts showing me all his parts and organs and everything. She's measuring all these things and every time she measures something, the computer calculates an "estimated due date" based on the size. And for EVERY SINGLE measurement, it came up between 85-97th percentile for size and the due date for each measured part varied between july 26 and august 6. I was flipping out watching those numbers flash on the screen while I was trying to concentrate more on how cute his little face (well BIG face, really) was (side note: it looks like he has really cute cubby cheeks). 


When she was all done going through everything, the final screen comes up giving the weight and an estimated due date based on the weight....it was July 26 and his weight was in the high 7's (almost 8 pounds). I was flipping out. She even tried to take some of the larger measurements out of the calculations but it didn't make much of a difference-the ultrasound was saying he was almost an 8 pound baby at 35 weeks-the computer was actually saying I was 40+ weeks-can you imagine!?!?! 


So at this point, I am in a complete daze...I am a small person, where is this HUGE baby coming from!?!? I'm all by myself, flipping out, texting Paul, my sister, other people freaking out....then I'm thinking, "holy crap, what if this baby comes the week my parents are away?!" Suddenly my nervous laugh starts to kick in, and I'm laughing in the lobby to myself like a psycho waiting to see what Werbin-Silver says based on the ultrasound. When she called me back into her office it was the first time she ever really seemed concerned about anything. She laid out my options (while I watched her drink her diet Coke-I was more focused on that-it looked good and I was freaking): 

1. If I want to try for a vaginal birth, she recommends doing it between weeks 36-38 but I would need an amnio to make sure his lungs are fully developed, because I guess a vaginal birth can compromise their breathing. 

2. We can try to go to 39 weeks to deliver without an amnio, may or may not need to be induced but then I might be trying to deliver an 11-12 pound baby. Can you freakin' imagine? That's like birthing a Thanksgiving turkey. My dog doesn't even weight that much.

3. Scheduled C section the week of August 8 or the week of August 15.

I go again next Thursday but they aren't doing an ultrasound because there's not enough time in a week to show any significant growth (I get to see McDreamy)....so then I go again on the 4th and that's when we will decide what to do. They will do another ultrasound, measure, and then go from there. I don't know what to do. I do know that sometimes ultrasounds can be at least 1-2 pounds off but I KNOW this baby is big. I can tell that the ultrasound is not too far off, like I feel him rolling around in my body and he's not small. I got pictures of his face and of his peesh....he has the big squishy cheeks and his peesh and parts are BIG -haha so my gut is telling me he's not going to be small. And I'm sitting here thinking I have 5 more weeks to get everything done and ready-when I actually only have like 3. BIG time panic mode. This is just too much to deal with all at once. I dont know what to do. I wish someone had a magic wand that would give me all the answers to what I should do.

I suppose the good things about all of this is that I'm pretty much guaranteed a nice sized, healthy baby...and if he does weigh 9-10 pounds that's THAT much weight I don't have to lose, then you lose another 10 with all the blood, water, placenta and other stuff that comes out at birth....I'll be half way to my pre-pregnancy weight! The other good thing that I'm learning is that I have no control over any of this...I think God is trying to tell me something here. 

35 weeks...picture from today of BIG boy's peesh and parts. Can you see it?  You honestly can't miss it.

33 week ultrasound-BIG boy's profile.

35 week ultrasound-front on view of his face...he looks like the joker....look at those cheeks!

Baby's Room, Baby Belly, and a little of here and there

So the BIG demolition on our guest room/baby's room started last week. Our house looks like a dumpster with crap in boxes all over, furniture being moved, baby stuff EVERYWHERE. We finally cleared out the room and Paul ripped up the rugs. Now we are just waiting for the floors we ordered to come in so Paul can install them. In the meantime, we are leaving the room the same colors but he will freshening the paint and the floor molding. The freakin' floor is taking forever to come in, but this is what the room looks like at the moment...so much bigger without all that HUGE furniture in it.

Picture from the door....no floors yet

That blue stripe is where the border will go.

Apparently, my baby puppy, Carrie, has found a new favorite resting spot, snuggled up between my belly and leg. She's such a little momma. She also loves laying on the glider that is temporarily housed in our living room.

This is my new favorite parking spot at the 84 diner, Babies R Us, and Macy's in Danbury since those seem to be the only 3 places that have any respect for women who are 900 weeks pregnant and want to go shopping.

And a belly picture because people keep asking me for one....sorry it's not very good. I hate these anyway and since there is so much crap around my house, this is the best you are gonna get for now. 32+ weeks and counting!

31 weeks and the first day of summer vacation!

So much has gone on in the last weeks....lots of stress at work, check ups, packing up a classroom, report cards, 2 baby showers at work, lots of good byes...it's been quite a roller coaster but we got through it. As I sit and type this entry, I am sitting on the couch, two doggies at my side, drinking my favorite chocolate moo milk, eating my favorite cereal watching the Today Show, and trying to wrap my head around the fact that I don't have to go to work until "I don't know when." As hard as I try, I can't seem to really understand or comprehend NOT going to school/work in September and that in just a few short weeks, I will be a mom-there will be a baby that is OURS in this house. It just doesn't seem real.

Work: In short, the last two weeks at work were extremely stressful, almost to the point where Dr. Werbin-Silver wanted me to stay home the last couple of days. I was having a lot of those Braxton Hicks contractions both in school and at night at home when I'd try to relax going to bed. I'm just glad that it's all over. It was very hot and I had a lot to pack up at school. I don't know what will happen when I go back, when I will go back, or where I will be put, but I'm just glad it's over and I can focus on things that are more important and not on the crazy drama that is a daily ritual there. On the 14th, the staff got together after school and had a shower for me. Baby Boy got so many clothes! It was really nice. My mom and dad were both there and Marisa brought our other FGL baby for a visit! 

Okay Sabrina, give me that baby!

Baby Melina and me <3

Table of goodies at school shower

I planned an end of the year party for my class last Monday and, to my (sort of) surprise, the class moms had planned a shower for me from my class. I was completely overwhelmed by all the gifts and how many parents showed up. It was really very sweet and it was very hard not to get teary in front of the kids. They gave me this scrapbook of "Wishes for the Baby." Each child wrote notes to me and wished me luck. Some wrote about what they hope the baby is like. It was hard to hold back the hormonal tears. I was very overwhelmed. 

So now I'm home for a couple of weeks before I'm off to do some curriculum work. I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that school is over and I can relax....there is still so much left to do and this baby is coming soon!

Love the "Baby" cake - made by Lisa Goetchius (love her)

My kiddoddles

Madisen-she thinks I'm naming the baby Marvin, even thought I've told her about 7,000 times that's not the baby's name. She even wrote it all over her leg on the last day of school.

I look absolutely elephant like in this picture (which was Madisen's original name for the baby before Marvin). This is what she would do to me all day from February until the last day of school.

Birthing Class

Amidst of all of the chaos this week (Relay for Life, my shower, etc.), I totally forgot to mention my child birthing class, which was quite interesting, but honestly, they really didn't give me any information I didn't know. We got to see the L & D floor again, we saw babies in the nursery (which I LOVE), and they basically gave a lot of information that I had read tons and tons about over the last 2 years because, I as I mentioned in a previous post, I am an information person and need to know and see things before they happen. I'm totally not a surprise person....

I just find it very amusing when people try to throw their "opinions" on you about a topic. For instance, the two big ones are breastfeeding and natural childbirth. I don't really get a lot of flack about breastfeeding because I plan on doing it, but the natural childbirth people drive me crazy. My feeling about child birth is that the baby is going to come out how and when he wants. There have been so many advances in the medical field that can make this a somewhat comfortable experience. I am not putting myself through hours and hours of insane amounts of pain so that I can "say" I gave birth naturally. Then people get all judgmental and criticize you when you give your opinion about things, meanwhile they are saying their way is the ONLY way to do it right. My whole mantra now is to just say "Whatever." Apparently you become public property when you are pregnant and people think they can say whatever they want to you. It's hard not to get worked up and flip out and it's hard to keep good boundaries during all of this...especially as the days and weeks creep by.

My Baby Shower!

It seems like only yesterday that we were telling everyone that we were having a baby...it's hard to believe that today was my baby shower. Am I really 28 weeks pregnant? Has it really gone by this fast?

My shower was AMAZING, of course. Any party hosted by anyone in my family is generally pretty over the top and fantastic (not to be conceited or anything, but my family really knows how to do parties.) My momma hosted a baby shower brunch at the Lexington Square Cafe in Mount Kisco, NY. And no, it wasn't a surprise-she had that thrill when I got married at my bridal shower. I needed to be involved in this party. The theme (or sorta theme) was "baby clothes line" since that's what my invitations were. The cake was decorated just like the invitation and the room we had the party in had a long clothesline hanging for people to hang onesies and clothes. The tables were decorated with white baskets filled with yellow star gazer lilies that people could take home. My Sissy made the favors-"Baby Cakes." Everyone got a box of 4 cupcakes to take home-all decorated with different baby goodies, like a fondant bottle, white onesie, and blue chocolate shoes. Most amazing.

I think the one thing that really overwhelmed me was how generous everyone was. I can't believe how much stuff we got. I remember thinking the same thing at my bridal shower, but holy, I was totally not expecting to get almost everything we had asked for. I was truly at a loss for words (and those of you who know me, know how rare that is). I feel truly blessed by everyone's generosity and am so grateful for having such a wonderful day to spend time with the people I love most in the whole world. There were people that I missed having there, but they were there in spirit. It was such a great day that I will never forget.

I've posted some photos below from the shower in case you were there and wanted to see or in case you missed it!

Early pics with sissy and 2 cousins

Most delicious chocolate raspberry cake ever!

Me with my sissybearfluffybunny

Sissy's cupcakes

Round 1 of presents...3 carloads worth.

Yay for the MMS friends!

Sissy's Babycake Favors

Me, Sissy, and Momma Bear

Yay for my FGL friends! <3 you!